The desire to have a partner to support life as we've become as a living creature instinct. Travel to find your partner tortuous. There's puppy love stories that we experience as teenagers, drop-outs Lika disjointed, until finally the aisle. But over time with a partner, with ups and downs of our emotions with the couples, sometimes occurred to the question, "What I really love my partner?".
The question is of course only be answered by our own, but Robert Sternberg, a scientist of social psychology, has tried to examine what it is love and love divides into several categories and named his theory with "Triangular Theory of Love".
Sternberg developed a theory about love, by stating that love itself consists of three things, namely:
1. Intimacy - things that reflect the feeling of closeness, "connect", and feeling bound.
2. Passion / desire - the things that reflect the romance, physical attraction, and sexual attraction
3. Commitment - The things that reflect the choice to stay together with your spouse
Then Sternberg developed his theory by making these kinds of love based on a combination of these three things:
1. Nonlove (no love)
Condition where we do not feel the love
2. Friendship (Likes to make friends)
In this kind of love, Sternberg argued that there is only a feeling of "intimacy" involved. Feeling "connect", and kehangan closeness with others is the main motor someone close to one another.
3. Infatuated love
At infatuated love, here reflected that the dominant feeling is the desire / passion. Dating relationships are often started from this kind of love. Even so, while infatuated love these relationships, each partner must develop a sense of intimacy or commitment, or love relationship partner will disappear quickly.
4. Empty love
This type of love characterized by a commitment without any feelings of intimacy or passion. Usually a married couple can feel this old. This is to maintain their relationship is their choice to stay together for various reasons, namely: economic reasons, citing "fear itself", or social reasons, such as "what will people think".
5. Romantic love
In romantic love, the couple tied the emosial through their intimacy and passion. Aspects of commitment does not play here.
6. Companiate love
Companiate love is the type of love that involves feelings of intimacy and commitment, but does not involve desires. Usually this type of love found in the married couples in which sexual desire is gone, but the feeling of closeness and commitment to be together was very deep.
7. Fatuous Love
This type of love that is quite unique, marked by a commitment that happened because motivated by sexual desire, without involving feelings of intimacy, or closeness. In everyday life, a very rare couple who admitted that their relationship 'guarded' by a mere sexual desire, but according to Sternberg that may occur. It was assumed that because the relationship is a sensitive and are 'sacred' for some people, then there are people who rarely acknowledge that their partner relationships based on mere sexual desire.
8. Consummate love
Love this type is the type of love that a complete and reflect the ideal type of love between couples since it involves three aspects of love, intimacy, passion, and commitment. Couples can feel the closeness and a deep desire that underlies them to have a shared commitment.
For more details, the following table are the kind of love and the aspects involved:
Love Trip
Of the various kinds of love that has been stated above by Sternberg, we will surely have experienced more than one type of love relationship with your spouse over time which passed with a partner. Here are illustrations provided for more details:
I. Infatuation Love
The words that best describes this stage is, "Love at first sight." Usually when I see someone we think is physically attractive, we can immediately liked him and wanted him.
II. Romantic Love
At this stage, physically and emotionally attracted to each other. Already there are aspects of desire and intimacy involved in this affair, but there is no commitment between them. During early adolescence, junior high or high school, usually the children teen dating only a few months, then finding a new partner.
III. Consummate love
This love is love intact where the aspect of desire, intimacy, and commitment has been owned by the couple, but loving relationship as a strong business need of each party to defend it.
IV. Love Companiate
This stage usually occurs in people who have been married long. Desire for long-faded with a partner, but intimacy and commitment are still surviving.
Travel theory is not valid absolutely love, so the couple can experience four things that are not in sequence with the types of love lainnnya (Fatuous Love, empty love, etc.) or even break in the middle of the road. By Yela (1998) and Bersheid (2010), two psychologists who examined about love, one can alternate these types because the aspects of love (intimacy, passion, and commitment) that they naturally rise and fall in line berjalannnya time. So, when she was seeing those days where we feel bored or feel no love again on our partners, does not mean we do not love him, but we are just going through one of these kinds of love expressed by Sternberg. (Khrisnaresa)
Source:
Baron, Robert. A., & Byrne, Donn. (2000). Social Psychology, 9th Ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
Yela, Carlos. (1998). Temporal course of the basic components of love throughout relationships. Psychology in Spain. 2. 76-86.
Berscheid, Ellen. (2010). Love in the fourth dimension. Annu. Rev. Psychol. 61. 1-25.
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