Elegy of Love: The Meaning and Journey

The desire to have a partner to support life as we've become as a living creature instinct. Travel to find your partner tortuous. There's puppy love stories that we experience as teenagers, drop-outs Lika disjointed, until finally the aisle. But over time with a partner, with ups and downs of our emotions with the couples, sometimes occurred to the question, "What I really love my partner?".

The question is of course only be answered by our own, but Robert Sternberg, a scientist of social psychology, has tried to examine what it is love and love divides into several categories and named his theory with "Triangular Theory of Love".

Sternberg developed a theory about love, by stating that love itself consists of three things, namely:
1. Intimacy - things that reflect the feeling of closeness, "connect", and feeling bound.
2. Passion / desire - the things that reflect the romance, physical attraction, and sexual attraction
3. Commitment - The things that reflect the choice to stay together with your spouse
Then Sternberg developed his theory by making these kinds of love based on a combination of these three things:

1. Nonlove (no love)
Condition where we do not feel the love

2. Friendship (Likes to make friends)
In this kind of love, Sternberg argued that there is only a feeling of "intimacy" involved. Feeling "connect", and kehangan closeness with others is the main motor someone close to one another.

3. Infatuated love
At infatuated love, here reflected that the dominant feeling is the desire / passion. Dating relationships are often started from this kind of love. Even so, while infatuated love these relationships, each partner must develop a sense of intimacy or commitment, or love relationship partner will disappear quickly.

4. Empty love
This type of love characterized by a commitment without any feelings of intimacy or passion. Usually a married couple can feel this old. This is to maintain their relationship is their choice to stay together for various reasons, namely: economic reasons, citing "fear itself", or social reasons, such as "what will people think".

5. Romantic love
In romantic love, the couple tied the emosial through their intimacy and passion. Aspects of commitment does not play here.

6. Companiate love
Companiate love is the type of love that involves feelings of intimacy and commitment, but does not involve desires. Usually this type of love found in the married couples in which sexual desire is gone, but the feeling of closeness and commitment to be together was very deep.

7. Fatuous Love
This type of love that is quite unique, marked by a commitment that happened because motivated by sexual desire, without involving feelings of intimacy, or closeness. In everyday life, a very rare couple who admitted that their relationship 'guarded' by a mere sexual desire, but according to Sternberg that may occur. It was assumed that because the relationship is a sensitive and are 'sacred' for some people, then there are people who rarely acknowledge that their partner relationships based on mere sexual desire.

8. Consummate love
Love this type is the type of love that a complete and reflect the ideal type of love between couples since it involves three aspects of love, intimacy, passion, and commitment. Couples can feel the closeness and a deep desire that underlies them to have a shared commitment.

For more details, the following table are the kind of love and the aspects involved:

Love Trip
Of the various kinds of love that has been stated above by Sternberg, we will surely have experienced more than one type of love relationship with your spouse over time which passed with a partner. Here are illustrations provided for more details:

I. Infatuation Love
The words that best describes this stage is, "Love at first sight." Usually when I see someone we think is physically attractive, we can immediately liked him and wanted him.

II. Romantic Love
At this stage, physically and emotionally attracted to each other. Already there are aspects of desire and intimacy involved in this affair, but there is no commitment between them. During early adolescence, junior high or high school, usually the children teen dating only a few months, then finding a new partner.

III. Consummate love
This love is love intact where the aspect of desire, intimacy, and commitment has been owned by the couple, but loving relationship as a strong business need of each party to defend it.

IV. Love Companiate
This stage usually occurs in people who have been married long. Desire for long-faded with a partner, but intimacy and commitment are still surviving.

Travel theory is not valid absolutely love, so the couple can experience four things that are not in sequence with the types of love lainnnya (Fatuous Love, empty love, etc.) or even break in the middle of the road. By Yela (1998) and Bersheid (2010), two psychologists who examined about love, one can alternate these types because the aspects of love (intimacy, passion, and commitment) that they naturally rise and fall in line berjalannnya time. So, when she was seeing those days where we feel bored or feel no love again on our partners, does not mean we do not love him, but we are just going through one of these kinds of love expressed by Sternberg. (Khrisnaresa)

Source:
Baron, Robert. A., & Byrne, Donn. (2000). Social Psychology, 9th Ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
Yela, Carlos. (1998). Temporal course of the basic components of love throughout relationships. Psychology in Spain. 2. 76-86.
Berscheid, Ellen. (2010). Love in the fourth dimension. Annu. Rev. Psychol. 61. 1-25.
http://ruangpsikologi.com/elegi-cinta-makna-dan-perjalanannya

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Colorful Emotions in Music

Ever wonder why you can so appreciate the music or songs? For example, melancholy songs that you listen to when you're broken heart or a song that somehow can make you so excited? Well, that question is also of interest to researchers who studied the theory of emotion in music. Yes, music can have a certain emotional charge, but "where" location of the functions of affective (emotional) music. On the music itself or in the audience? That is, we can say that music expresses a certain emotion because of the inherent properties of music (melody, tempo, etc.) or due to personal factors than we as the listener?

According to Alf Gabrielsson, an expert in the field of music psychology, to understand the emotional expression in music, we need to distinguish between the "emotion perception" and "emotion induction". That is, a listener can just capture the music from a musical expression of emotion without experiencing emotion itself. This process is referred to with emotion perception or perception of emotions contained in the music. That means no value of "objective" of emotional functions of music, which makes us as a listener can recognize the nuances of the music 'sad', 'happy', 'relaxing', etc.. Furthermore, when hearing a piece of music, we can 'experience' of certain emotions. This is the emotion induction process, where we lost in the music brings a certain emotion. Someone, therefore, be free to give emotional response to music he was hearing. By giddy, emotion perception is intended as an intellectual work (the extent of cognitive perception processes) while the emotion induction involves an emotional response (what is felt when hearing certain music).

A friend of mine who studied classical guitar, for example, admitted that he quite often do the "analysis" when playing a song. During intektual work, he tends not to respond emotionally, but more emphasis on the introduction of chords, beats, and other music properties. Another friend who also studied classical guitar playing technique also agree that if you are studying the composition of the guitar through the audio file, it will tend to be "cool" with the emotion in the song. But, they can understand the emotional charge contained in the music they hear. For example, fast tempo music for a carefree and minor scales to convey sadness. Up here, they do music in an intellectual assessment process (perception of emotion). On the other hand, they understand that music could also raises their melancholy side (induced emotions). For example, when I heard the strains of string instruments like cello, violin, or guitar, from a particular composition.

In addition, both will be very visible difference when we look at the relationship emotion perception and emotion induction itself. No automatic music lovers will feel the emotion in line with the emotional expression displayed in the music. As a fan of Tárrega, my two friends have had different perceptions of Lágrima, one of the guitar work of Spanish origin. Lágrima which have a typical "sad song" (believe it or not, features of emotion in that song has its own formula) interpreted one of my friends as the song that made him feel good, even though she knows feel "real" song. Moreover, we both know Lágrima means tears. More or less, it shows how differ We Can "knowing the feel of the music" and "feeling the music".

So, we can conclude that there is value expressive music on the music itself (hence can be emotion perception) as well as on the listener (related to the emotion induction). To note again is that there is a third factor: the situational factors. How the music was also presented influential in the affairs of this emotion. For example, try comparing your emotional sensation when she heard a melancholy music when you're feeling really happy and when you're instantly sad. I guarantee it's different!

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